How To Make A Good Impression On The First Date (As A Man)
So you’ve been in contact with a lady for some time via online dating. Conversation is amazing and you just can’t wait to meet her face to face for that first date. You feel nervous and have butterflies in your stomach, probably shouldn’t have eaten all those caterpillars…
Right, the first thing you need to do is relax and breathe, ask her out. She says yes hopefully. Next, you have to get through the first date without screwing things up in every shape and form possible to mankind. Allow me to help you get a second date, and in time marriage. Remember first impressions are what people remember!
You are the man; you could suggest a lovely evening, and hopefully it’ll be her cup of tea. Or you could be a gentleman and ask where she would like to meet up. This will allow her to trust you and will show you are not the selfish type that wants hotdogs while watching the Manchester united vs Chelsea final! If for example she suggests an ‘Asian restaurant to get a curry’, your next step would be to pre-plan. Meaning you have to book a table at the restaurant and you have to dress according to the restaurant booked. Give her the time of the table booking, location and any other details you think might be helpful, like dress code and that malarkey. Rule of thumb here; always dress smart-casual! You would not want to turn up wearing tracksuit bottoms and a hoodie! I would go for jeans and shirt or a casual suit.
The big day has finally come! It’s 7pm sharp and you’ve been waiting outside the restaurant doors for around 10 minutes. (Yes you have shown up early!). Please remember not to be late on the first date or you will never hear the end of it if you end up marrying the woman! Birthday parties, engagement parties, house warming parties; the story of your first date will be brought up at each and every one till death do you both part….trust me. You are wearing your casual clothes and some mid-strength aftershave. You see her walking towards you, what do you do? You react to her body movement, if she comes close to you and you think she wants a hug then lean in and give her a side hug. The hug needs to be formal and not desperate. Do not go for a full-on ‘arms wrapped around her’ hug like she is your long lost relative. However if she doesn’t show it, then smile and say “hi there, nice to finally meet you, wow, you look great, shall we go inside?”.
Now you’re inside the restaurant. We hope you have brushed up on your gentleman skills. Allow the lady to be seated first, maybe seat her then go take your seat. So you ask a couple of questions, “how was your journey here?” or “How’s your day been so far?” Show her attention, body language is key. Face her, your body should face her too. This shows you are interested in her, and not wanting to high tail it out the door. During your light chat, you are looking through the menu. You are about to place your order, but before you blurt out “Can I have a chicken jalfrezi, two naans, some fries, mango lassi, poppadum’s and some diddy donuts”, allow her to order first! This is the politest way to go, trust me. Dinner has arrived and you are both eating away. Remember your manners! Don’t talk with half a naan hanging out your mouth, in fact don’t have half a naan hanging out your mouth at all…and don’t talk over her. Start a conversation, then listen carefully, women love a man that listens. Talk about her life but don’t get too serious with personal questions. Let conversation flow and if there is awkward silence, quickly put some food in your mouth and chew while thinking of something else to say (Top tip). Topics include – her day, hobbies, work, family, siblings, favourite food. More fun – What she hates about first dates! Most preposterous dates. More serious – what she’s looking for from her partner, where she wants to be in a few years from now. Use your imagination, pick up on things she likes and work with them.
Dinner is finished and it’s time to pay, I suggest the most gentleman thing to do is get up just after finishing dinner or while she goes to the rest room and pay for the meal secretly not allowing her to see. She will definitely know you already paid and note that you didn’t make a big deal out of it, she will be very impressed. She may offer to pay for her own food or both your meals, but the way to a woman’s heart is to do things the old school way; be a gentleman. No matter how stubborn or strong minded a lady may be, deep down, every woman wants to be wined and dined. It’s a rite of passage!
Ask her what she would like to do next, maybe watch a movie, if she says it’s getting late then this is not a bad thing. It means she simply needs to go to sleep or she wants to take things slowly which is the best thing to do, rushing into things usually ends in a breakup. Before saying your goodbyes ask her if she had a good time, hopefully she will say yes. Do not ask to see her again just yet, unless she brings it up, then obviously say yes you would love to..providing you had a good time! Remain calm and not needy and make sure she gets home safely, maybe offer her a lift or walk her to her car.
The Day After The Date
So you had a wonderful date. You ever heard of the saying ‘Never call the girl the next day’? Well that is how things go pear shaped! The longer you leave the call or text after the first date the more awkward things get. Don’t expect her to call, women live by the rule of never calling or texting first. Send her a message saying ‘hey, I had a really great night last night, I hope you did too, I would love to see you again sometime’. Now, sit patiently staring at your phone until you see that screen light up and hear a message tone, only to see it was your mum telling you dinner is ready…awh diddums…So your date finally replies and hopefully says “I had a great time as well thank you, yeah sure I would love to, when are you free next?” So you jump in the air with a fist pump and freeze frame as you reach your peak then the credits begin scrolling up the screen…Woohoo!!
Job done, pretty soon there will be a white horse and carriage, lots of cake and a beautiful married couple. Then the real work begins sonny boy….
Nevertheless, you’re welcome